A Panther In The Snow

I've been a denizen of the internet for so long now, trying on different platforms. I spent bad years on Twitter, good years on Livejournal, held secret vigils on Tumblr, ran my mouth on Reddit when the cruelty of people goaded me into resistance. Even have a Facebook, which is like a dead currency nobody trades in anymore.

Now, I'm resting my bones here. I used Dreamwidth years ago for a sort of digital shrine, but even that seems like a shadow of the past. I'm becoming someone different as I careen gradually toward my fifth decade on the planet.

I have done some things right. I have made some mistakes. I might have broken a friendship I thought was impossible to break--time will tell on that one. Sometimes two people are at such differing places in their journeys that intimacy falters and communication fails. "We're like a wishing well / And a bolt of electricity / But we can still support each other / All we have to do's avoid each other."

Maybe half of the reason I'm starting this journal is because I need to work on being a better friend to me. I give out so much of my energy, and worry another third of it away. I've struggled with imposter syndrome (like so many do). And I've had my odd spirituality relegated to the back of my mind most days, though there is the occasional moment when the universe seems to nudge me and say, "I'm still here."

If I added you as a friend (or if you want me to add you as a friend) I hope you're nice, but genuine, and I hope that you'll enjoy reading my poems and stories now and then.

Edit: I promise, there will be poems and stories, but it might be journal entries for a little while, at least while the semester is still accelerating toward cruising speed.